Apparently, it's not as simple as it should be. I recently lost a friend who was kind of lost. She didn't really know what she wanted and had recently lost her job, so her whole world was upside-down. I was the only one close enough to be able to help. Her relationship was quite complicated, to say the least, so she naturally leaned on me. We became best friends. We told each other everything, did everything together, and could be ourselves together. It was incredible and at the perfect time, too. I recently went through a break-up and was still going through the ups and downs a breakup causes emotionally.
Of course, when you least expect it, things get more complicated. One night, we become closer and start opening up on a deeper level. We didn't realize how deep the other could be. After that day, was much confusion. So much confusion, that this friend of mine decides she has to tell me that she has developed feelings for me.
That moment when you realize your happy world comes to an extreme HALT! She doesn't know what to do because she has feelings for me, but PROBLEM!!! She is with someone else. At this point, I tell her I have feelings for her, but I know now that those were just feelings of friendship. My intentions were to just be the friend that I knew how to be for her. She took it further by breaking up with her fiance and kissing me. Of course, I was confused and before things got out of hand, I left to leave her alone with the dilemma she was in. After all, it was her decision to make as to whether or not she should marry this girl, date other people (me included), or just be alone. I wrote her an email to let her know that I wasn't at all ready to be in a committed relationship and that I personally felt she should be on her own and wait until she had more stability.
The next day, she let me know that her decision was to be alone and that it was important that she think about what she wanted. I agreed and was honestly relieved. I didn't want to break anybody's heart and I didn't want to lose the friendship. Well, she asks me to come over and hang out, so I did. Of course, it was awkward! It was more her making it awkward, then me making it awkward. I was over it. I just wanted to continue to be her friend. Apparently, she had other things in mind. She kisses me again and I had to stop it before it went too far, AGAIN! At this point, I knew things had taken a turn. I'm not sure why she had to tell me that the feelings she has for her fiance far surpasses the feelings she has for me. It's not like I wanted to go further than friendship. I really didn't. Who kissed who?
After that, she decided to block my email and phone number and cut me out of her life completely. She sent an email, pretty much blaming me for the reason it went too far, when she knows better. I rejected her. After all that happened, I tried to send several messages on Facebook to tell her she had hurt me, but I'm pretty sure it was pointless. And unfortunately, someone else thought those messages were for them and decided I was crazy and deleted me. Obviously, some people are way too full of it to think that EVERYTHING I post on Facebook is about them. SERIOUSLY? This world does not revolve around you? I am so much better off not having either of them in my life.
When you find yourself making friends with the wrong people, take a step back and really think about what it is that you're doing. What can you get out of this friendship? Heartache and pain? Or happiness and support? It is your choice on what you are willing to give or give up. Don't ever give up.
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